To have a successful dating life, you need interpersonal skills that translate offline, where it’s not about sending a witty text or cat meme, but about being able to approach someone in real life and actually hold a conversation.
Many people stress about where to meet someone. I’ve written before about 20 places to meet and date people in real life, but to be honest love connections can happen anywhere, even sitting in your local coffee shop or on public transportation. That’s because the key isn’t necessarily where you meet, but more so about being aware of your surroundings and making yourself approachable.
In this techno-centric world of dating apps, we’re out of touch with our bodies. We feel awkward and uncomfortable being phone-free, and it’s totally killing our dating mojo.
Being confident and approachable when it comes to dating is a combination of confidence, non-verbal, and verbal behaviors.
Here are 4 concrete practices for dating success so that you can get offline and meet in real life.
1) Practice gazing at strangers for three seconds as they pass by.
Locking eyes with someone, especially when you’re constantly looking down at your phone, can feel intimidating and requires confidence. Eye contact allows you to make automatic decisions about whether someone is safe, attractive, and if you want this person to approach you.
If you spot someone you’d like to chat with, make sure to glance over and make eye contact three times and flash a smile. This gives the green light signal that you’re interested.
Anytime you walk into a situation where you could potentially meet someone (i.e., the bar, the gym, a restaurant, classroom, etc.) scan your surroundings and lock eyes with anyone you find appealing. If you’re stuck sitting in a different part of the room, make sure to get up whether it’s use the bathroom, go to the bar, or change seats to move closer, so that you can continue flirting with them with these three second glances and smiles.
2) Accept an invitation, or propose a hang out with someone you may not typically socialize with.
Enough of the “I’m too busy” excuses, or declining a party or networking invite because you don’t know anyone else there. If you don’t expand your social circle, you won’t meet new people. Attend with the mindset of making new friends, rather than searching for a potential significant other. Even if no sparks fly with guests, you never know who these new friends can introduce you to in their extended networks.
3) Try one new activity solo or with a friend.
People with successful dating lives have fulfilling lives rich with hobbies and interests. Sign up for a kickboxing class, take a guitar lesson, or study a foreign language. This will give you something to speak about with passion on a future date, which is a very attractive quality.
4) Practice mindful meditation.
You may be wondering what meditation has to do with dating, but you’d be surprised. The more you practice mindfulness, the more aware you are of your self-defeating thoughts that may make you feel cynical and disheartened about your dating life.
Take a meditation class (hey, that’s just one more place where you can meet a potential partner) or sign up for an app, such as Calm or Headspace. You can also leave your phone at home and take a mindful walk where you focus solely on your physical sensations and the environment around you. Meditating and mindfulness can help you manage your dating and relationship stress, and reduce anxiety.
All four of these techniques will put you in a better place, mentally and physically to meet a new significant other in real life.
Work with Samantha to improve your dating life, land the relationship you’ve always desired, and create love that lasts!